AMES, Iowa—Republican presidential nomination front-runner Donald Trump said he will host his own, competing caucuses because the organizers of next week’s Iowa caucuses refuse to make changes he demanded. “Let’s see how many voters they get on Monday when I’m not one of their candidates,” he said ths morning.
Trump said he demanded that they take Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) off the ballot, and that three other candidates be made part of an “undercard” caucus, since they don’t have much support in the polls. The three candidates are former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina, Sen. Rand Paul (Ky.), and former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum. “No one’s going to vote for people who can’t even muster 3 percent in the polls,” he said. “People want to vote for winners.”
Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee is also at less than 3 percent in the polls, but he’s a “man of God” and should be accorded more respect, Trump said.
The Iowa Republican Party, which is organizing the first-in-the-nation caucuses, said it’s not its policy to make structural changes to the event at the request of a single candidate. “No candidate, not even one with as high a profile as Donald Trump, can unilaterally make changes to how this important event is organized,” said Jeff Kaufmann, the state’s Republican party chair. “If Mr. Trump declines to participate in the caucus, that’s his decision. We wish him luck with his own caucuses.”
Trump said his caucuses would be “bigger and better” than the Republican party’s event. “We’re going to have decent food, for one thing,” he said. “And the ballot won’t be crowded with people who no one is going to vote for.”
As of Thursday, Jan. 28, there was one candidate on the ballot: Donald Trump. Fox News said it will cover Trump’s caucuses live, with popular reporter Megyn Kelly hosting.
This is a work of satire. It is fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos (some modified): ah (Creative Commons and public domain). Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.
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Scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology released a paper yesterday cracking the physics behind the combover of Republican presidential nominee frontrunner Donald Trump and say the famous hairstyle stands as one of the most complex creations of mankind. “An amazing piece of work, a testament to the beauty of complex systems and of the world around us,” says Reynolds Aimsworth, professor of physics and mathematics at MIT and the lead author of the paper. Aimsworth says the combover is based on an inversion of a positive tangent-secant radian, something scientists didn’t believe was possible.” More.
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AMES, Iowa—Former Alaska governor and vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin endorsed real estate mogul Donald Trump for president yesterday, saying he is the one candidate who lives and breathes for the spotlight, a quality the United States needs in its leader. “Our country does not need another politician to debate the finer points of policy,” said Palin in her endorsement speech here. “Our country needs someone who hungers to be on TV, to be treated like a celebrity, to be famous. That is the quality we need in our president, and that is the quality we get with Donald Trump.” More.
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