Deflategate 2: Brady Accused of Deflating Goodell’s Ego

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Tom Brady

The National Football League is accusing New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady of deflating the ego of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell in yet another charge against the four-time Super Bowl championship team.

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Roger Goodell

“We have very strong reasons to be believe New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady conspired with Richard Berman, the presiding judge of the U.S. District Court of the Southern District of New York, to do irreparable harm to the reputation of National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell, and on the basis of evidence we have, we are launching an investigation into this potential violation of League rules,” says NFL Spokesperson Marisa Miller.

Berman, on September 3, issued a ruling overturning the four-game suspension of Tom Brady for allegedly deflating footballs during its conference championship game against the Indianapolis Colts last year. Berman’s decision was widely seen as a slap against Goodell, who personally sought Brady’s suspension.

The NFL didn’t disclose the evidence it has showing Brady and Berman conspired to harm the reputation of Goodell, but a person present at meetings at which the matter was discussed says the League has worked with the National Security Agency (NSA) to intercept text messages between Brady and Berman in which it’s clear Berman is a Patriots fan.

One of the texts, from Berman to Brady, allegedly says, “Patriots are number 1. We’re going to bring Goodell down, Tommy Boy.”

Incriminating?

Incriminating?

In response, Brady is alleged to have texted Berman, “He’s going down, alright. How many season tickets do you want?”

“Can I get six?” Berman is alleged to have responded. “Definitely two, for me and the wife. But if you can swing four more, it’ll be great, because people are always asking us if we’re going to be using our tickets for the next game.”

Brady is alleged to have responded, “Dude, I got Trump eight tickets with no problem. There will be six season passes in your mailbox next week. By the way, you want to hit the links with me and The Donald when this is all said and done?”

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B012D8750Y/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B012D8750Y&linkCode=as2&tag=daily031-20&linkId=EEVAP2OIAH2XV6KU“Love to, but I gotta watch perceptions. It wouldn’t look good.”

“Right. Gotcha. Well, when this all becomes a distant memory, you and I are going to Ireland to play the best links in the world. We can fly with Trump on his jet.”

“I’m in, dude.”

In a statement, Brady denied any collusion with Berman. “The NFL made its case and the NFL Players’ Union made its case before the U.S. District Court, and Judge Berman on September 3 issued his ruling,” the statement says. “From our perspective as participants in this case, the decision was made fair and square.”

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, reached at his home before bedtime, said he had no comment but would be speaking out later, “once I feel a little bigger,” he said. “Right now I’m feeling a little small.”

This is a work of satire. It is fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously.Photos (some modified): jn and tw (Creative Commons). Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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