World’s Worst Investor: ‘I’m Liking California Swimming Pools’

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Kaching!

The world’s worst investor says he’s going all-in on California swimming pools, because with the state’s new water meters and water-use restrictions, swimming pools will become the “forbidden fruit” of the moneyed set. “Where does the 1 percent live? In California. What does the 1 percent want? Swimming pools,” says the world’s worst investor.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004KAUIH6/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B004KAUIH6&linkCode=as2&tag=daily031-20&linkId=THY2REM7EB2655YQThe world’s worst investor says he “took a bath” on his last big investment idea, Texas gun locks. But he thinks he’s backing a winner this time. “You want to go where people are going, only go there sooner,” he says. “Right now, where are people going? They’re going to California to swim.”

If the investment doesn’t pan out, he’s shifting his money to Illinois lawmakers. The last three governors have ended up in jail and now Dennis Hastert, the former Illinois congressman who became the longest serving speaker of the House, is facing charges for circumventing disclosure rules under federal money laundering laws. And it looks like he’s a pervert. “Where are the people going? They’re going to Illinois for good government. So, that’s where I’m going next.”

Follow the world’s worst investor on today’s top social media sites: myspace, Digg, and Delicious.

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This is a work of satire. It is fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: wwi (Creative Commons). Not necessarily an endorsed use of images.

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