Gays Marry? Let Them Be Miserable, Too

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Happiness without end?

Saying it shouldn’t just be straight couples who lead lives of bonded servitude and imprisonment, Dave Turner of Indianapolis has come out in support of the right of gays to marry. “Taking out the garbage, withholding sex for some petty reason—sure, if gays want to institutionalize their misery, let them go for it,” says Turner, 42, manager at an auto parts distribution center.

Turner says he recognizes that gay couples already have good relationships or bad relationships, just as married straight couples do, but the difference is that married straight coupes have institutionalized their misery, while gay couples are still free, at least in the eyes of the community, or the law, to split whenever they want. “So, if they want to tie their hands in the same way my hands are tied to my wife, they should be free to do that,” he says.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00005USBH/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00005USBH&linkCode=as2&tag=mediab-20&linkId=QFTLSHDHXBZBSOUF“There’s no reason straight couples alone should be allowed to tie themselves up in self-inflicted misery. If a couple’s marriage turns out to be something less than the blissful love-bed of fairy tales they had imagined, they can’t just part ways with a ‘good luck’ and a handshake; no, they have to hire lawyers, work out a way to split their assets, and, if they are raising kids, how to deal with them, and then apply for and get a divorce. Yes, that’s a lot of fun, and without a doubt if gay people want to hang this albatross around their necks, they should be allowed to do that. I am all for equality.”

This is a work of satire. It is fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photo: al (Creative Commons). Not necessarily an endorsed use of image.

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