Thrash Metal Guitarist a Little Concerned About Tattoos

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What tattoo, sir?

Acknowledging some of his tattoos are a bit rough and edgy, Greg Stent of Hell’s Vapors says he’s increasingly concerned he’ll have trouble getting a job once his music career winds down and he’s ready to get on with the work-a-day world.

“I always thought I would play my music and nothing else, but that never stopped me from getting my B.A. in accounting in case things fell through in the music scene,” says Stent, who launched Hell’s Vapors with his Canton, Ohio, neighborhood buddy Alex Greel six years ago. Today, their band has a strong following in much of northwest Ohio, Iowa, and has even played shows in Michigan and Wisconsin. The band last year self-produced a CD, When Death Awaits You, which it makes available at its shows.

“I never considered myself a one-dimensional person,” says Stent. “Even when I was totally into music in high school, I also liked to fiddle around with numbers—add things up, subtract things down—a numbers guy, I like to think of myself. So, it made sense to go for that accounting degree even though music was my main passion. Plus, my parents totally picked up the bill, so why not?”

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00005USBH/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B00005USBH&linkCode=as2&tag=mediab-20&linkId=QFTLSHDHXBZBSOUFStent says he hopes to be playing music until he dies, but he’s also aware that life can take unexpected turns, so he’s glad he has that B.A. degree behind him.

“It’s just good to know that, should the passion for music fade, I have the skill set to get a good job and maybe make some real money,” he says. “My only concern has to do with my tats. I mean, I’ve got some really wild things going on, and, I confess, when I had them done I wasn’t really thinking about the future.”

His biggest problem tattoo, he says, is a dragon that’s kind of roughing up a bare breasted young woman. “It’s pretty hard to hide this one,” he says. “My shirt covers up most of it, but you can really see the girls tits on my neck. It wasn’t one of my smarter decisions.”

Another tattoo that’s visible, on the back of his left hand, depicts what looks like the rear end of an ogre but is actually just the ogre’s face. “He’s a really ugly ogre,” says Stent.

Would he consider getting the tattoos removed? “Well, I would, yeah, although the dragon one with the tits—the girl was made to look like my girlfriend, so she’d be pretty ticked if I had it removed. But, you never know, we might break up some day, although I promised her I wouldn’t, which is why I got the tattoo.”

Stent says he has about a dozen tattoos in all, and, unfortunately, most of them are pretty raunchy. “Let me put it this way: there aren’t any anchors, you know?”

“The good thing is,” he goes on, “I expect to be making my music for as long as I’m around, so at the end of the day, the tattoos don’t really matter. But if I ever tried to get a job as an accountant or something, explaining all this shit I have on my body is going to be a real trick. I guess I wasn’t thinking about my future very clearly.”

This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photos: msa (Creative Commons). Not necessarily an endorsed use of images

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