Gun enthusiasts say the millions of guns that flow across the border illegally for use by drug cartels in their war against the Mexican government must stop if mass killers in the U.S. are to reach the success level they’re capable of.
“Right now, can an unstable young man in the United States be all that he can be when he’s ready to start spraying random people with bullets? I don’t think so,” says Grit Thorniker, president of the American Alliance for Personal Weapons Rights. “Our gun manufacturers are already operating at maximum capacity. Once more deranged loners come out of the woodwork, will we be able to meet their needs?”
Exact figures are hard to come by because of the nature of illegal gun transfers, but U.S. authorities estimate that at least one million guns, including valuable automatic and semi-automatic weapons, flow to Mexico each year. Most of these weapons end up in the hands of the powerful drug cartels, which have bulked up on arms in recent years as the war with Mexico’s federal government has intensified. The result has been a surge in gun violence in Mexico, at least some of which has come at the expense of gun violence in the U.S.
“Why isn’t that violence in Iowa or Kansas?” asks Brafford Cruff, a gun enthusiast in Fready, Nebraska, who tries to buy at least one semi-automatic gun every two months to be ready, he says, for when the United States government tries to take away Americans’ freedom. “I mean, mass carnage in Ixtapaluca is fine, and everything, but it’s just wrong that our own federal government allows guns to flow out of this country. Do the Feds not think we can put these guns to good use against innocent people right here at home?”
Mexican officials say close to 1,000 people a month are killed in their country as a result of the federal government’s war on the cartels, with virtually all of those killings done by American-made guns that are shipped illegally across the border. Mexican President Felipe Calderon and President Barack Obama have met several times on the issue, but a solution remains illusive. President Obama says his administration has ramped up efforts to curb the gun flow, but Mexican officials say Washington isn’t doing enough.
“The United States is the key to solving the bloodshed,” says Jose de Gortari, head of a citizens against gun violence group in Mexico City. “The cartels, they get rich sending millions of dollars worth of drugs to the United States each month and then they turn around and import millions of dollars worth of guns into our country to protect their franchise. It’s a vicious circle that we cannot close without the help of the Americans.”
Mexican citizens who’ve endured years of bloody confrontation between the cartels and the government aren’t the only ones who want the flow of guns to stop. Americans who want to ensure that crazy loners have sufficient firepower to kill as many random people as possible want it to stop, too. “There are weirdos on the Internet right now who are plotting how they’re going to make headlines by their act of senseless killings,” says Clem Bloffer of the American Alliance for Personal Weapons Rights. “When they’re ready to move, will they have the right tools available to them? You can’t be an effective mass killer of innocent people with a pistol, you know. Even a simple rifle won’t do it. Today’s psycho killers need the best available weapons in their arsenal, and its just not clear that these weapons will be available to them if they’re all down in Mexico. This lunacy must stop.”
Beverly Gliss-Mason, a manicurist in Reynard, Idaho, says she plans to vote against President Obama in November because of what she calls his fecklessness on the issue. “My boyfriend last week tried to make a video of himself posing with a bunch of automatic weapons but, big surprise, thanks to Obama’s incompetence the price of machine guns is going through the roof, and you know why? Because Obama lets the guns pour into Mexico for cheap, so they can do all the killing they want. But my boyfriend, who’s got a good job and all at the mini-mart, can’t fricken’ afford to buy a semi-automatic weapon? And that’s just for his video! What’s he gonna do when it comes time to ‘do it?’ What is he supposed to do, go out there with a fricken’ BB gun? You can’t live a fantasy life with a BB gun. We need our guns to stay where they’re made, and that’s right here in the U.S.A.”
This is a work of satire. It is a fictional news article not meant to be taken seriously. Photo: rft (Creative Commons)—not necessarily an endorsed use of image
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ATLANTA—Several drunks at McCabe’s in the Grant Park district here shot each other yesterday after one of the men bought a round of drinks to celebrate the new state law allowing guns in bars. “It’s unfortunate three otherwise good, healthy Americans are dead, but the more important thing is that we have a law in this state that preserves Americans’ liberty to kill themselves and others when they’re drunk,” says Jim Fleming, an electrician in Cabbagetown who was at the bar at the time of the shooting. “No one likes to see people killed, but neither do people like to see government try to take away our right to have guns where people gather to become intoxicated,” says Elliot Harper, a long-time patron of McCabe’s. “The U.S. Declaration of Independence makes clear that the right to own guns hinges on our need for a well-regulated militia, and you clearly can’t have a well-regulated militia unless people can shoot one another in bars when they’re drunk.” More.
WASHINGTON—Buoyed by the success of its effort to get “Stand Your Ground” laws passed in states throughout the country, the National Rifle Association today launched a nationwide campaign to get “Not Liking Your Looks” laws passed. “Every day people are terrorized by people who look at them in ways that are menacing or intimidating,” NRA CEO and Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre said at a press conference here. “Americans shouldn’t have to stand for that, not when we have a Constitutional right to own and use guns, because every confrontation starts with a look. Under our reasonable and sensible ‘Not LIking Your Looks” laws, law-abiding Americans can head off dangerous confrontations by firing the first shot and stopping a confrontation before it starts.” More.
FAIRFAX, Va.—A gathering of top scholars among gun rights advocates meeting at the headquarters of the National Rifle Association yesterday remained divided and perplexed by the words “well regulated” in the Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. “It’s a term that has always been a mystery to gun rights advocates, but I think we made considerable progress in nailing down what the Founding Fathers of the United States meant by it,” says Leonard Clounts, a constitutional scholar at Sam Houston University in Texas and chair of an NRA task force that’s been asked to forge a policy statement on the meaning of the term. The text of the Second Amendment, as adopted and made part of the Constitution in 1791, reads as follows: “A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.” More.
Thousands of families in cities across the United States today thanked the National Rifle Association for instilling a culture of fear throughout America with its demonization of anyone who talks about regulations to keep automatic weapons out of the hands of criminals and people with a history of mental illness. “It’s with our deepest gratitude that we, families of America, extend our thanks to the National Rifle Association for everything it has done to create ‘communities of fear’ across our great country,” the families said in a statement released today. “Thanks to its resolute stand that families like ours should take our security in our own hands, whether by hiring private security guards or keeping guns under our pillow at night, we live in a growing state of fear and distrust. And that’s something the NRA deserves credit for.” More.
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WASHINGTON—The National Rifle Association yesterday filed a lawsuit in U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia seeking a cease-and-desist order against the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence on the grounds that the group’s activities are unconstitutional since gun ownership in the United States is protected by the U.S. Constitution. “Given that the protection of gun ownership is explicit in the U.S. Constitution, any activities to stem gun ownership, and by extension, any groups whose mission is to stem gun ownership, is de facto unconstitutional in the United States,” the NRA says in its lawsuit. The gun-right’s group, based in Fairfax, Va., is seeking class action status of its lawsuit, which, if granted, will outlaw all organizations in the United States whose mission is the regulation of gun ownership. More.
Thanks to the push to gut gun laws and make it harder to prosecute shooters, maladjusted men who would otherwise be content to stay in their rooms playing violent video games increasingly have the chance to pack heat and show people they don’t like who’s in charge. “I don’t have the guts to actually talk to people, but I don’t need to even try anymore because I can just get me a gun or two and deal with my problems that way,” says Jeremy Flynn, 24, a maladjusted man who nurses a lot of grudges against the world. “I grew up playing video games in which the winners maim or kill more people than others maim or kill, and that was fine for my youth. Now that I’m an adult, I want to take my hatred to the next level. I’m just glad the National Rifle Association has my back, because now I can get all the guns I want and really do my carnage right.” More.
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Officer Jeff Barnes of the Emes, Iowa, police force has big plans for when he retires in three years: start his own consulting business for criminals who are prepared to pay good money for ideas on how not to get caught. “After 25 years in police work, I have an expertise that will command a pretty penny for those who are worried about committing a crime that they’re not sure they can get away with,” says Barnes, a lieutenant. Prior to coming to Emes in 2008, he was with the Columbus, Ohio, police force for 19 years. Barnes said he was something of a petty criminal himself before he enrolled in the Columbus police academy and became an officer one year later. “I stole a car once,” he says, “but mostly it was small stuff: candy, cigarettes, and beer from 7-Eleven, a wallet from Sears—you know, nothing to write home about, although I’m proud to say I went about a four-year stretch without paying a cent for beer.” More.
Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin implemented sweeping guardianship laws yesterday that prohibit men from doing many of the things they’ve been accustomed to doing, like marrying without their mother’s permission, leaving the house without a female escort, and signing contracts without a female co-signature. “Men have been responsible for most of the disasters in the world throughout history, including wars, environmental destruction, and domestic violence,” says Fallin, who was elected Oklahoma’s first woman governor in 2011. “It’s time to stop the madness, so as of yesterday, thanks to the law passed by our state legislature, men can only marry with their mother’s permission and can leave the house only when accompanied by a woman, among other provisions that serve to protect men, women, and in fact our communities.” More.